Rag Time Blew

02/12/2014 03:46

Rag Time Blew


`They ain`t gonna catch this nigger, no way no how,` the shadowy figure stumble bummed on his way through the darkening twilight. `But you is a white boy,` objected his swarthy companion, The Individual, with the biker handlebar moustache. `I will show you the truth and the light,` said Caucasian Mysterious; `Over there is a chick gettin` into a motor. It`s a bigot tin of the General variety. She is the knickers in the car now and he is the racist supremacist:


`Catch the knickers by auto. If she screams let her go. Eeny! Meeny! `Bye! Ow! Toe!`



 Knickers has been caught by `auto`, and she is now like a toe in the movie, Scream (1996), with Jack Frost nibblin`. Frost`s no man, but he doesn`t have to let her go, because the wintry L. A. street persons won`t be able to hear her through The Doors with the music turned up to a highest volume:


`There`s a killer on the road. His brain is squirming like a toad.`1



 The General is towed by all the other car nibbles following each others` asses about the roads, where he isn`t `toed` because he hasn`t been caught off with his knickers in a Christian church ceremony and so is still single. The car nibbles and the other knickers want to fool him into thinking he can ride out the snowstorm and that he`s about to wed: but they`ll make sure he`ll remain a hoary old toe alone. With knickers of his own stowed away, the General, who has held out for God to put something in his bigger`s tin, hopes it`ll be knickers off together until there`s a pair.`



 The girl had gotten into the car and seemed to be already in the process of getting her knickers off. `Now!` she snickers `Off in the car together!`,` narrated the streetwise existentialist philosopher. `Now the knickers are off away in the General`s motor and he thinks he`s to wed, but he`s being towed by the other car nibbles, who`re following each others` asses, because that`s how they get a bigger tin: by brown nose sin. The other knickers with the car nibbles are now strivin` to steal the General`s knickers, tho` he believes she`s exclusively his from God and is to wed him; although he`s just another `toad` to the wiser older knickers. Surely, after a while, blondie will bow to the inevitable consequences of trying with a car nibblin` at her knickers and escape with her friends in the `Ow! Toe!` mobile industry:


`You go out at night, eatin' cars;
You eat Cadillacs, Lincolns too,
Mercurys and Subarus:
And you don't stop, you keep on eatin' cars.`2



 While the shady character with the illuminated brain crooned a passage from Blondie`s Rapture (1981), because it was biblically prophesied that the good blondies would be taken up into heaven in `the rapture` by order of God (Matt: 24. 30-36), The Individual thought silently for a few moments before sayin`, `I`ve seen tinned knickers before. You can`t smell `em `less they`s outta the tin.` Caucasian Mysterious silently laughed, `It is a feature of the General motor`s car design that it`s constructed so that the knickers in the car can`t smell unless they`re outside of it. First the knickers have to be gotten from the car so that they can smell, because the bigot tin car isn`t for freeing the knickers; it`s for keeping them inside as slaves so that the knickers will always be coming off and the passers by can`t get a smell off them unless they`re prepared to fight for the freedom of the knickers.`



 `The liberators of the knickers in the car are categorized by society as `criminals`,` Caucasian Mysterious took a deep breath before enunciating more slowly, `if`n they want the knickers from the car, which is why the knickers are friends only with each other, so they can get in and out without being trapped in the tin by the car nibbles, no matter how small the bigot in it, or how much the pedestrian bigotry`s attractive. The knickers have to avoid being stuffed in the tin of the car nibble, because it`s a `snuff tin`, and the knickers left in the cars are the sign of the car nibbles, who`ve left the evidence on the backseat after eatin` the girls.`



 `The knickers in the back seat of the car are the sign of a bigot tin o` car nibbles,` the fabulist yawned expansively, throwin` his arms wide and embracing whatever couldn`t be seen beneath the big ol` yellow moon, `and so the demon drivers are congratulated on who has the biggest display of empty knickers, because it`s an indication of their car nibble powers. Some of the demons even open clothing stores where the knickers are sold so that the old knickers can be enticed by a car nibble, which is why car nibbles are so popular with knickers, both young and old, like at Cooney Island in New Jersey, USA.`



 The Individual, sniggering, put what at first sight seemed to be a `kerchief against his nostrils before blowing, and all those up there understood they were being ragged by a pair of knickers.


1 Morrisson, Jim, Bobby Krieger, Ray Manzarek, John Densmore The Doors `Riders On The Storm` from the album L. A. Woman, Elektra, June 1971.


2 Harry, Debbie, Chris Stein Blondie `Rapture` from the album Autoamerican, Chrysalis Records, January 12,1981.